there's paper in my vomit.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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