Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
