she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
