i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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