its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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