If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im six kinds of drunk right now
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize