the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
