I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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