apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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