The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
