so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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