Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
