all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
