Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
