i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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