Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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