Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
