I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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