While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
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If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How naked do you want me to be?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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