Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize