Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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