They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
