How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
