he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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