I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
