We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
