she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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