I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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