I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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