I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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