I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
