From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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