i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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