She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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