The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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