she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
