I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
