everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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