I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
