I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
