I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
