Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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