I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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