I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's never too late to be topless.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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