I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You need Xanax blowdarts
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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