I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
