just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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