don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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