So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
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