Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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