I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
