nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
