I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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