i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
as a side note pls kill me
Couch. On fire.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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