oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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