oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
