I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
