I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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