Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
