Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm both gender and math confused
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
