I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
