Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
