Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
