Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
