I wish I only lived at night.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
