Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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