Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
