College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
jump out the window naked night went bad
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