No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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