Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
