you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
