i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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