I cockslap morals
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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