So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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