my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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